Do Your Children Rest?

“Look both ways before crossing the street. Eat all of your carrots. Did you say thank you?” Every loving parent has said these words more than they'd care to admit. We are faithful to teach our little ones the importance of safety, good health and good manners. What about their spiritual health? How often do I encourage my children to keep God's commandments?

Parents want their child to know what God says about honoring their mother and father and His rules about stealing and lying. But, what about honoring the Sabbath? What about that one? It sounds easy enough. Go to church and you can check that one off your list. At least, that's what I used to believe. Honoring Sundays as a family has now become the best part of our week.

God created our bodies with a Sabbath DNA. He has placed this spiritual genetic matter within each cell that makes up our miraculous body. We can't help it, it is how we are wired. There is no possible way for the human body to keep busy for days and weeks at a time. Resting is part of our bodies' routine maintenance.

While teaching my Sunday school class a lesson on the ten commandments, I asked the children if they knew what a commandment was. Immediately one little boy's hand shot right up. “A commandment is what a king gives.” I thought that was the perfect answer. God's commandments are rules with benefits. Yet, one of the easiest commandments to keep, Honor the Sabbath, was the one our family was having the hardest time honoring.

God didn't make the Sabbath day a gentle suggestion, He made it a commandment: remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. The word holy means to set apart. This day has been set apart in worship to Him. Jesus says in John 14:15 “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” It is not out of obligation my husband and I have made this change, but out of a love for our Savior, our King. If it were obligatory, it wouldn't be a lasting change. Out of love, honoring the Sabbath as a family is a continual desire.

When I started thinking about the Ten Commandments, I discovered I have a very bad habit of rating them on a sliding scale:

Do not murder. -Very important!
Honor your father and mother. - Important.
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. - Not too important.

Now, after church we try and make our day as restful as possible. On Sundays, my husband and I usually read the paper together. We keep this day as open and commitment free as humanly possible. It has become a free-time family day.
Our children have a day to themselves to play together, go for a bike ride, or just hang out and read a book. We try to keep their busyness to a minimum too.

There are lots of ways to honor Sundays as a family:

• Have lunch together, or invite extended family over for a Sunday visit.
• Turn off the TV.
• Make Sunday the day your children play outside all day, hurricane warnings permitting.
• Turn off all video games, iPod's, DVD players and computers.
• Encourage your husband to sit back, relax and take a load off.

Two of our four children are teenagers. Their genetic makeup gives them a physical need for music. One of the changes our family has made to honor the Sabbath is to play only worship music on this day. These small changes have made quite a big difference in our home already.

As parents, Paul and I understand the importance of raising our children in a way that is God-honoring. To teach our little ones respect and honor of God's commandments, we must first show them how we do it.

Who would have thought we would have to teach one another how to rest? After almost nineteen years of parenting I’m still learning the best way to lead them along the narrow path is by example.

Bible Studies For Your Teen

Church youth groups can be a great teen experience. Like everything, there are good youth groups and not-so-good ones. As a parent, we desire our children to be in a youth group that is God honoring and encourages our children to bring their Bible in hand for a teaching. When we were recently on the hunt for a solid youth group, we made a point to visit the youth group and meet with the youth pastor.

Some youth groups try to be so fun, they lose their purpose. Instead of a place where kids can grow up together in their knowledge of Jesus Christ, they draw kids with Skittles and Guitar Hero and follow up with little or no Bible study at all.

Don't get me wrong. I think Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and ping-pong make a mean combination. But, I have to ask myself what kind of lesson are my kids walking away with? We make sure to place our children in youth group that desires to teach about God in fun ways. Not teach about fun alone.

Scavenger hunts are great, but when my children grow up and need hope or faith in their life, they won't be seeking a paper clip or a 1945 penny.

Now, before you start thinking I'm being way too hard on the church, I believe our Christian walk begins at home. It is ultimately our job as moms and dads to raise up our children in the way they should go. That is not the sole responsibility of a youth group. It is ours.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deut. 6:6-9 NLT

You don't have to have a theological degree to read through the Bible together. Start with the book of John, or Esther if you have a daughter. Our youngest daughter Grace (11) LOVES the story of Esther. Our son Samuel (9) reads the story of King David in his daily devotion time, his favorite story in the Bible.

Paul and I made a point to take time each week in a study when our children hit the pre-teen years. Meghan (18), and our son David (15) have experienced a few over the years. We have enjoyed the one-on-one time we've shared with each of our children. It has given us moments that have been a blessing to all of us.

Bible studies are a great bonding time. Paul and David work on theirs on our back deck, or at our local coffee shop. Meghan and I used to enjoy having our time away from the house at our local coffee shop too. Whatever you decide to do, your children will welcome having one of their parents all to themselves.

I've included below the Bible studies we've experienced first hand and highly recommend to you.

Fifty interactive Bible studies for teen girls provide a Christian perspective on relevant topics such as beauty, jealousy, fear, partying, self-acceptance, eating disorders, mood swings, perfectionism. Amazon Review

Andrea Stephens has been where many young girls dream of being--on the front page of a glamour magazine, modeling the latest fashions and turning heads everywhere from her hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma, to the big city of New York. But, in her own words, it was a ''God thing'' that taught her the meaning of real beauty. And now in book one of the B. A. B. E. book series, her encouraging, upbeat writing style, speaks directly to teen readers right where they're at. Using real-life examples and simple exercises, Andrea leads these young women into the meaningful ''B. A. B. E. sisterhood,'' where they will learn to see themselves through the eyes of a loving, purposeful Creator.About the series: The B.A.B.E. books teach girls that true significance is not about their hips or their hairdos, but about their hearts-hearts that are beautiful, accepted, blessed, and eternally significant. Amazon Review

This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares-to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty-John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman's soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer. Amazon Review

**Meghan did this study while in her high school youth group. She LOVED it.**

In this revised edition of the best-selling book The Measure of a Man, Gene Getz delivers the newly enhanced message of what it takes to be a man of God. Men will gain encouragement for what they can be in Christ-as fathers, husbands, and mentors to other men. Since 1974, The Measure of a Man has taught hundreds of thousands of men around the world how to live according to God's direction-faithfully, lovingly and spiritually. True masculinity is not measured by a man's strength, but by these 20 biblical guidelines. With life applications and words of inspiration, here is Gene's greatest work-fully rewritten and updated to reach the new generation of modern men. Amazon Review

**Even though this book is not faith-based, it's lessons on good character and solid moral conduct gave my husband Paul the ability to bring every chapter back to God's Word and what He says about these  topics.**

Based on his father's bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Sean Covey applies the same principles to teens, using a vivacious, entertaining style. To keep it fun, Covey writes, he "stuffed it full of cartoons, clever ideas, great quotes, and incredible stories about real teens from all over the world... along with a few other surprises." Did he ever! Flip open to any page and become instantly absorbed in real-life stories of teens who have overcome obstacles to succeed, and step-by-step guides to shifting paradigms, building equity in "relationship bank accounts," creating action plans, and much more.Amazon Review

Get away with your preteen or teenager for a one-on-one adventure of a lifetime! Passport2Purity will guide you and your son or daughter through biblical principles for life's most difficult challenges, including dating and those other difficult topics to discuss. Let Dennis and Barbara Rainey lead you through an encouraging do-it-yourself retreat full of discovery, communication and fun. The kit includes a leader's manual, a student manual, CDs featuring Dennis and Barbara Rainey, a passport, and seals. Family Life Review.

It's never too late to begin a study together. Take a moment and mark out this special time on your calendar at home.

Your kids will never forget it.

Faith and Fear are Mutually Exclusive

Our son David is in Australia. We put our fifteen year old son on a seventeen hour international flight, so he could walk through a door the Lord had clearly opened for him. He is experiencing three weeks on our dear friend's sheep ranch. He is in his element and having the time of his life.

For days before he left, I fought my fears.

As a parent, I struggle with mom-fears like everyone else; kidnappers, homicidal maniacs, drunk drivers, the list is long. A checklist of concerns play through my head before one of my children attempts to do anything or go anywhere.

As I allow my fears to play in my mind over and over again, like a broken record, these fears work a deep groove into the recesses of my innermost thoughts. Until, finally, they are what I think of first, before anything else, including God's word.

God's word says, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. (Hebrews 11:1) Jesus said to his disciples, "Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. Matt. 8:26

Paul saw a chance for a hard-working lesson, "We won't help you fund this trip, son. The Lord has opened a door for you. You and He will have to work this out together."

Fear hoped he couldn't raise enough money. Faith desired my child to run through the Lord's wide open door.

On Wednesday, I will be throwing my arms around my son as he returns home from his trip. I'm grateful the grooves in my mind are slowly cutting a new path. God's word is the best for filling in the cracks in my wrong-thinking.

Faith and fear are mutually exclusive. Fear will forever hold my children back and keep them from all the Lord has for them. Faith must always be my first response.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear. 1John 4:18

One Step at a Time

Have you ever had a strong feeling you were in God's will? It's difficult to explain, but it's a deep understanding you are a part of something good, something purposeful.

We've been Christians long enough to know how feelings can be far from accurate, but there's an unspeakable peace we have that lets us know we are doing what we've been created to do.

Stepping out into the unknown is both scary and exciting. It's not something we do lightly, or without much prayer and seeking of the Lord. We've tried to ignore His still small voice, pretending we didn't hear it, denying we both heard Him at all...when we did. We've procrastinated and deliberated, each time coming up with the very same conclusion.

He is asking us to peer over this amazingly high ledge and take a step of faith.

Each move we take together, His presence is there, wrapped in an unspeakable peace. We desire to encourage families through His Word, not because we have all the answers, but because when He asked, we said, "Yes!"

For those of you who know me from my blog Blessed, and have enjoyed laughing along with our family over the years, are you in for an amazing treat. My husband is the funnier half of me. I do hope you'll follow along and see what I'm talking about.

God knows our hearts and knows we desire what He desires - to see lives changed from the inside out.

This has been a year of open doors for us. As He continues to swing this next door open wide, we plan on walking through it together.

We hope you'll join us.

Lord, you will give us peace: for all our works are the outcome of your purpose. Isaiah 26:12

Grace

Grace. God gives it to me every day.

Grace. The covering I received when I believed Jesus for the very first time.

Grace. A lifetime won't be long enough to thank Him for it.

Only five small letters, yet they pack a mighty punch, don't they? As a parent, it comes easier for me to share grace than my husband. I am the one our children come to when they want an extra cookie, a longer curfew, or a sweeter deal of some kind.

Paul would call me "the weak link."

I'm the "Grace" of Grace & Truth Parenting. Though I'm far from a pushover, it's second nature for me to be over my frustrations by bedtime and serving hot cocoa and marshmallows to little crumbcrunchers released early from bedroom-incarcerations.

There is nothing I don't want to give my children. Whether I'm at the grocery store, a garage sale, or a walk around the block, my children are quite often on my mind. For me, ways to bless them have nothing to do with how they may have treated me or talked to me earlier that day.

That's where my husband Paul, old Mr. Truth comes in. As much as I'd love for grace to be the only way I spend every parenting moment, truth is needed too.

We believe Grace & Truth are key elements needed in raising children today. We look forward to encouraging parents and help to remind them that  along with love and forgiveness, grace and truth are blessed ingredients to helping our families to be "in the world but not of the world."

Jesus changed our lives from the inside out. He can do the same thing with your marriages and your children - grace and truth are just the beginning.


The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

Truth

Hello from the Truth side of Grace and Truth. As you'll soon learn from your journey through our site, I'm not the writer of the group. That distinction belongs to Joanne. So, I would suggest that you read her post first - since everybody enjoys apple pie more than broccoli! And since this is my first blog post ever, it may seem more like overcooked, mushy broccoli.

Joanne and I have four children. It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child, but I have to disagree. What it takes are two parents who care enough to show up every day ready to parent. Fortunately, we don’t have to do it alone. We have a Father in Heaven who shows up every day, never tires, never leaves, always loves, and is full of “Grace and Truth.”

As Christians, we need grace and truth: in varying portions and intervals. But it is needed nonetheless. We all prefer grace and don’t always enjoy truth. That includes me.

In our family, Joanne is known as the “grace” parent. Need a shoulder to cry on, she has a Kleenex ready. Had a bad day at school, brownies and a glass of milk await. Don’t do what she told you to do, it’s ok as long as you do it soon. That is not to say that Joanne is pushover, just that she is more compassionate.

As the “truth” parent, I am all about logic. Had trouble with your friends today? Find new friends. Lost your permission slip? Enjoy your time in the library. Left your lunch at home? Welcome to “Hunger City” – population: You.

Regardless of whether you are the “grace” or “truth” parent, it is important to remember that your model is always to be our Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. That is why we have chosen our signature verse as John 1:14 – And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. [NASB].

Jesus dwells among us whether we are dispensing truth or grace. He is right there to provide guidance and instruction for us as we try our best to raise the gifts He has given us. Jesus was full of grace and truth, and each of us has some grace and some truth.

What is our goal for this ministry? Why are we doing this?

We believe that the cornerstone of a strong society is a strong, Godly family. And the family is only as strong as the parents that are leading it. Families are teams and parents are the coaches. Have you ever seen a football team win the Super Bowl with a coach that everyone thought was ineffective and knew nothing about football? While it could happen, it is very unlikely.

The same is true of families. If the family “coaches” aren’t effective leaders, then the family suffers. When families are broken, so is society. While no football coach succeeds alone, no parent does either. If you are a single parent, this applies to you as well. You need to put together a “team” that includes your pastor, youth group leader, grandparents, neighbors, and anyone else that wants you to succeed as a parent and raise great kids. Word to the wise: the first sign that someone wants you to fail is when they tell you that you can do it alone.

We don’t pretend to have all the answers. What we are willing to do is share with you our struggles and trials, victories and defeats. Along the way, we hope to reap far more then we sow.

So, pull up a computer and grab a glass of milk. You finished your broccoli…now read Joanne’s post and enjoy your apple pie!

We'd Love the Opportunity

Speaking Topics

The Radical Sabbatical

There is a common affliction known to parents today; A.D.D. - Activity Denial Disorder. The prognosis is good and the treatment sounds simple enough - slowing down. The first step to recovery is recognizing you are sick to begin with. Our family of six took a twelve month activity time-out. Some have called it our radical sabbatical. For an entire year we made the decision to say no to all after-school activities and yes to monthly family field trips. It was our journey from busy to blessing.

He Makes All Things New

Paul and Joanne met over a homicide call, while working at a busy police department. He was a police officer and she was the 911 dispatcher. Be inspired by the testimonies of both. Discover how the Lord is patient as He waits for us. Learn that there is hope for all of us. Be inspired to see how His promises are new everyday and leave grateful knowing our history is His-story.

Grace and Truth Parenting

Parenting is the toughest job on the planet. Raising up both boys and girls, Paul and Joanne understand everything from poor attitudes and pimples to temper-tantrums and texting. Learn two of their favorite sayings, “You can tread water longer than they can make it rain.” and “We don't negotiate with terrorists!” They will have you laughing as they share a few of their own parenting truths learned through the lens of God's grace.

Legacy Parenting

Every President of the United States desires it and every parent underestimates it- their legacy for future generations. Parenting is a living legacy. Time is the tool that molds and forms our legacy into something of beauty. Learn what a godly legacy looks like. Be encouraged. No matter what our child's age, it's never too late to change our legacy. Be encouraged to step into your parenting legacy.

Grace and Truth Marriage

A family is only as strong as the marriage within it. Learn what the Lord says about a Godly marriage. Find ways to guard and protect one another, while building each other up daily. Discover simple ways to grow closer to one another, romantic ways to keep the fires burning, and the three rules Paul and Joanne created to enhance their marriage vows.

Worth the Wait

Paul and Joanne have a heart for young people. The world says one thing about dating and marriage, while God's Word says something completely different. Be encouraged to grow up into who you are in Christ before marriage. Choosing your life-mate is the most important decision you will make. Waiting is never fun, but very necessary, and more than worth the wait.

In But Not Of

As Christians, we are called to be salt and light in the world. As much as we love fellowship with others who are like-minded, be gently reminded He placed our families here with a purpose, His purpose. Be inspired. Your family can be an “in the world” family without being an “of the world” family.

Paul and Joanne will work with you to share a fitting message with your group or church body. The above topics are ones they enjoy sharing to encourage and teach.

Paul and Joanne are available to speak separately to both men and women's groups. Please email them with any questions in regard to their speaking calendar.

JoanneKraft@gmail.com

Just too Busy - Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical

Our family fought busyness and won. We took a year-long activity time-out, some have called it our Radical Sabbatical, and broke free from the bondage of busyness and the captivity of activity.


The Radical Sabbatical comes from the deep well of life experience. For almost nineteen years, I have been both a full time working mom and an exclusive stay at home mom. All the while, attempting to juggle my husband, children, and umpteen activities.


As a Christian woman, I believe an authentic Christian walk can only come from a transparent life. I've written Just too Busy - Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical in a way that is refreshingly transparent while remaining God-honoring. Writing gives me an opportunity to share with honesty what the Lord has done and is doing in our life. Humor is the anesthesia that numbs the pain, so the truth can go deep.

Just too Busy

Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical

Release Date June 2011 - Beacon Hill Publishers

Excerpt Below

We aren't much different you and I. Not long ago, I too was searching the bookshelves for anything, something, some bit of help for my chaotic, topsy-turvy life. Everywhere I turned I couldn't swing my purse without hitting books for Busy Moms, “The Busy Moms Recipe Book – You too Can Make a Fourteen Course Meal in Eight Minutes!” “The Busy Moms 4.2 second Devotional Book” “How to Change a Flat Tire – for Busy Moms” Sure, there were lots of books that spoke specifically to me, a busy mom. Unfortunately, they all seemed to accept the fact that I was busy, too busy.


I needed help. I needed answers. I needed to hear from someone who had walked a mile in my tired, worn out mommy-shoes. Could there be survivors in a head on collision with busyness? Had anyone been declared victor after jousting the insanity of over-activity?


Why was my life moving faster and becoming more difficult? Slow and easy, that's what I wanted. I looked everywhere for it. I found TV shows that explained simple ways to decorate my home for Christmas, simple ways to make a delicious pot roast, simple solutions for annoying pet odors, but where were the simple solutions for slowing down? How could I get back some of this stolen time? I even bought a magazine with the word simple on the title, thinking surely they would have the answer. Only to discover that anything I did, no matter how simple, really wasn't. Slowing down was easier said than done it seemed.


The captivity of our family's activities were the handcuffs that put us in bondage to busyness. I felt like a prisoner. Our busyness was slowly eroding the joy from our lives. I was being held against my will, while time was dragging our family along for one wild ride.


When I was a fresh-faced newlywed, I dreamed of the day my husband and I would have children. I imagined the life we would make together. As my family-fairy-tale came into focus, I would be cuddling on the couch to read a book with one of my toddlers. The next chapter in my fairy tale included relaxed family dinners around our kitchen table, smiles and snuggles and joy-filled conversations as my babies grew up before my eyes. The scene would then change, my clumsy toddler now a sure-footed teenager sitting on my kitchen counter, keeping me company as I made dinner, seeking a bit of wisdom and guidance. But sadly, the fairy-tale wasn't our reality.


Each day I was given another twenty-four hours and each night I couldn't have told you where all the time had gone. Stories read with my toddlers were in a frustrated rush. Dinner together was almost non-existent, and my teenager wasn't sitting on my kitchen counter. She was seeking advice from the front seat of my car. Her guidance counselor was a middle-aged me. Any wisdom given was in between cynical comments to traffic jams and slow drivers, in between a pick-up or a drop-off.


As a family, we were doing more than we ever had before, accomplishing much less - and growing farther apart in the process. It was depressing. What in the world was happening? A voice in my head reminded me, “This isn't the fairy tale life I'd imagined so many years ago.”


Busyness had become our new normal and I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to make a change. The answer I received surprised me. I had no idea the solution I'd been searching for would be considered radical.

Just too Busy

Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical

by, Joanne Kraft

Fun Stuff

Family Fun Magazine

100 Fun Things To Do With Your Family

Fun Family Recipes

Family - Friendly Vacations

Raising up a family is not only hard work, it can be lots of fun. We've included a few sites above to help assist you with ideas to make your life at home a fun one.

We'd love to hear how your family has fun together!